I started off not wanting to get out of bed. I had a rough night last night. Having fairly recently integrated my alters it makes me feel lonely. It's hard to describe without experiencing it. The night usually belonged to Aaron - he'd think his wild scientific thoughts, write his music or just play the piano, think of things that I just don't feel like I need to. I'm more concerned now with day-to-day things... like what chores I didn't get done. That honestly probably started it all. It's amazing how fast I can slip into a depression. However, unlike before where Aaron would be stuck there, it's also amazing how quickly I can tear myself away from those thoughts.
I miss Aaron - I understand that I now have his memories (for good or for bad) and I understand that I can "think" like him. But the reality of it, is that I do quite often miss his "presence", him and Samantha. For Samantha, it's quite a bit easier because I can feel a sort of happiness, youthful and playful and I know she's apart of me. For Aaron, it's just different.
After a very long morning of me laying in bed not wanting to get out - I finally just got angry for a lack of a better description. I got up and immediately did my dishes, cleaned my workout room, and then went and got stuff to make home made pizza. I ended up finally getting this site up and going. So now the only thing left to clean is my two bathrooms (and I absolutely have been putting my bathroom off). So, in the end - it was another amazing day.