Erin Michelle Smith

Personal life story including childhood trauma, DiD, recovery and everything in between.

Poetry

WARNING: A LOT of my poetry questions life. I wrote most of this when I was alone, after a high school rape, and while trying to put on a brave "nothing is wrong here" both my music I wrote and my poetry were screaming for help. Even though parents, teachers and friends read these poems, short stories, and heard my music - no one once asked if I was ok. This for a very long time made me bitter. When I finally broke down and told my mom what had happened, she responded so beautifully that I was reminded that I wasn't the only one suffering from traumatic events. She simply said that she was herself so young and naive that she wouldn't have known what to do if she had known. This let me breath and stop being bitter and just accepting that what happened is now over - time to move on. With that being said - these poems can be dark - you've been warned!

In a Well of Depression

- Posted in Poetry by

Content warning: suicide, depression, self-harm As I lay my comfortable numb body upon the ground My tired heart sickened from the sadness that is all around I start to dream of things that just wasn't meant to be Forgetting about my wrist and the blood that was running free I was falling, falling in to the cold darkness of a well Seeing images of me walking down my life's untouched trail I came upon a cliff so very high Oh, if I had only known how to fly Somebody please show me a way For my [...]

Silent Tears

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Content warning: suicide, depression, self-destruction For the tough guy      who no one shall tie      doing everything for the glory      causing all sorts of treachery Comes a silent tear One that is so dear For the tough guy      who gets so high      going out every night      just looking for a fight Comes a silent tear Quickly washed away with another beer For the tough guy      who makes the girls sigh      getting laid all the time      though it wasn't quite right in his mind Comes [...]

Just Like You

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Content warning: childhood sexual abuse, dissociation Alone, confused    Tired of being used    But what can I do    I'm addicted to you We live in a reality    Without any real honesty    Where white is blue    And we've all learned how to screw Can you see    The hypocrisy in me    yes it's true    I can lie to you too I was only seven    So I made her in my mind    To smile through the sickness    To carry what was mine Do you remember    Ice cream in December    For two long years words [...]

One More Day

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Upon the end of night's darkest hours A sleepy sun boldly climbed above eastern mountain towers To softly touch those angry angels of white floating overhead With fiery fingers painted different shades of red And while I silently slept ever so softly My mind drifted drowsily, fastly fading in and out of a rude reality When suddenly, upon the weary wings of a cold morning breeze Came the sweet sounds of a mournful melody that pierced the serene silence with wondrous ease Through heavy haze my [...]